Naughty List

It's 4:20 a.m on Christmas morning and my computer thinks it's 9:19pm. I'm stuck in a time warp. And what the heck am I doing awake at this hour? I'm up with the worst back spasms I've ever had in my life. For real. As in take your breath away bad. Cry like a baby bad. An unfortunate side affect of forgetting I was 57 and thinking I could hoist the world's largest/heaviest box into a shopping cart at the UPS store.

So this year Christmas is made possible by the generous contributions of the makers of Purity Eggnog, Maker's Mark, Advil and Flexeril (but not all at once, mind you).

Funny, I didn't even know I was on the naughty list...

It's Christmas Eve! Go BIG or Go Home...

Ok, I'll admit it, when I entertain my biggest fear is that we'll run out of food before the party's over. I'm like that. I can't help it. So of course when it comes time for folks to leave, you can bet I'm in the kitchen trying to foist leftovers on anyone with one hand free.

I also worry that the food I cook won't have enough flavor. So in honor of the holidays (the perfect excuse to eat and drink in excess after all), I give you our Christmas Eve tradition. Yes folks, it's time for Deb's Go BIG or Go HOME Spinach Lasagne recipe. It's big on flavor, big on calories and it's labor intensive, BUT it's worth it!

What you'll need

• 2 Boxes Lasagne Noodles (We're gluten free in our house so I use Pasta Joy)
• 2 cans of fire roasted tomatoes
• 1 can Hunt's Four-Cheese Spaghetti Sauce
• 1 tsp oregano
• 1 tbs sugar
• 4 tbs butter
• 4 tbs olive oil
• One large onion chopped
• 2 lbs of Italian sausage (patties or removed from casings)
• 1 lb of ricotta
• 2 eggs
• Big handful of parsley, finely chopped
• 5 cloves of garlic, minced
• 3 scallions, minced
• 2 small bags of frozen spinach
• 1 cup heavy cream
• ½ cup grated pizza cheese
• ½ cup grated pepper jack cheese
• 2 cups grated mozzarella cheese

Get out your large, DEEP lasagne pan. Don't use that skimpy 9 x 12” baking pan you use for brownies. It won't be deep enough. Buy one of those disposable aluminum lasagne pans they sell in Wegmans or if you're really feeling like a splurge, go order yourself one of these.

Open all three cans of sauce and dump 'em in a dutch oven along with the oregano and the sugar. Cover and turn the flame on medium.

Sauté the minced garlic and scallions 'til softened in 2 tbs butter and 2 tbs olive oil. Place on a small plate to cool.

Saute chopped onion in the rest of the butter and olive oil 'til it's transluscent. Add the italian sausage and cook through. When it's done, place it in small batches in the food processor and pulse 'til the texture is more fine. Add to the sauce and continue cooking on low.

Place both bags of frozen spinach into a large skillet with about a cup or a cup and a half of water and a little salt. Cook 'til the water is almost gone. Add a heaping tablespoon of the garlic/scallion mixture and the heavy cream. Cook 'til the cream reduces a bit and starts to thicken up, then process the heck out of it with an immersion blender 'til it looks a little like baby food. Trust me on this. Stir in the grated cheese. Add salt and pepper to taste. Set aside in a large bowl to cool. Try not to eat it all yourself.

After you've cleaned the food processor bowl, process the ricotta, eggs, the rest of the garlic/scallions, the chopped parsley. Add a good helping of salt and pepper. Taste it for seasoning after it's blended. Yes, I know it has raw eggs in it. Just taste it already. It won't kill you. You must be sure it has enough salt and pepper. Set aside.

Time to layer! Layer of sauce, layer of noodles, layer of ricotta (and by ricotta I mean ALL the ricotta), layer of sauce and mozzerella, more noodles, layer of creamed spinach (yes, ALL of it), more noodles, layer of sauce. You should be up to the top of the pan or out of noodles by now. Add more sauce to fill in around the edges. Cover with foil and bake immediately or stash it in the frig 'til later. Bake for 30-40 minutes. Remove foil, load up the top with more cheese and bake 'til browned and bubbly. Let it sit for a bit so it comes out looking like this:

 Oh don't I wish!! Who's lasagne ever comes out of the pan looking all neat and fresh like this?

This year I doing something I was taught never to do. I'm experimenting on our unsuspecting guests and trying something brand new – NOT cooking the noodles before I layer them in the pan. I read about it on the internet so it must be true, right?

Merry Christmas everyone! Now, eat up while it's hot!

UPDATE! The no-bake method worked like a charm. I will never boil lasagne noodles again!!

Christmas Miracles

We're having a wet, warm and somewhat wacky Christmas this year. I'd rather have white, but there's not a thing in the world I can do about it.

K is off for TWO solid weeks and the world's largest game of catch-up has begun. Upstairs and down, inside and out, you name it and we're messin' with it.

And ever the optimist, I've not given up hope for the most elusive of all Christmas miracles...getting the cars in the garage. 

Hey, a girl can dream, can't she?

Welcome Yule

It is Solstice eve and man is is ever dark. We've been feeling the weight of winter. That inexplicable heaviness, grumpy for no reason, slow, tired and fuzzy time of year.

Here's to new beginnings, big dreams and bringing back the light.  It is a time of great promise and joy!

Help Wanted

Slowing moving gray day

One more cup of coffee please

I need help today

Getting Real

Some habits die hard and so for me is the habit of creating a to-do list that is way longer than any human being can accomplish in a week, let alone 24 hours. 

As I was madly running around yesterday, feeling the insane pressure of an over-scheduled day, it suddenly occurred to me that I had a choice. That no dean, committee or needy student was nipping at my heels to get things done, there was no time clock running and the semester was not about to end. Yet, that's exactly how I was operating. I'd put it on the list and dammit, I was going to do it. How utterly ridiculous. 

So I ditched the last activity on the list, stayed home and dealt with the stuff that had piled up and was making me crazy, and cleared the clutter. House cleared. Mind cleared. Stress gone. 

I aim to stop the glorification of busy. I really do. But this old habit is a deeply entrenched one and if I'm honest, it's rooted deeply in control. If I don't do it know one will. If I don't do it, it won't get done right. IF. IF. IF. There's that damn IF word again. 

As my friend Carrie once said, the "the to-do list is a trick of the ego designed to give me a set of problems that seem like only I can solve".  

So I'm ditching the old list in favor of the real one and making room. Not just for the good things, but for the GREAT ones.

Stormin'

A slow moving storm is ambling over our area today and will keep us company for the day. 

Glad I've got lots of indoor work to do,

 and a trusty assistant.

Our long gone, ancient maple continues to supply us with ample wood for the fire. I'll make soup from the frozen Thanksgiving turkey carcass and get the oven going with an egg casserole. Anything to keep our drafty old kitchen warm!

Curling up with a good book, a kitten or two and a huge mug of coffee is awfully tempting today, 
but there is a ton of stuff to do today.

Happy, cozy, peaceful, productive winter day.

Eff

In honor of my dear friend Kathy who braved cancer not once but FOUR times, I vow to live life through a filter of greater optimism, gratitude and grace. I vow to lighten up already and when occasion calls for it, not shrink from using a well placed "F" bomb. I know Kathy would approve.

K and I are prone to researching 'til we're blue in the face. It's time now for us to take some risks. Time to move outside our comfort zones and into the realm of possibility. Even a squeak outside the comfort zone would do. It's time to stop wondering what if and make a move, make a decision, and act on all that research. 

It's time to...

Let's FLY!

OK, here we go!

Soon

Dreams are spinning, ideas are flowing and plans are being made. It's especially wonderful to have a big project up and running in the dark time of the year. And even more wonderful to watch it all come into focus. Soon it will be Solstice.

 Build up the bonfires, now the seasons turn
Welcome in another year and let the old one burn

Here come your sorrows, all your old regrets
every broken promise and every unpaid debt

Light the bonfires, another year has flown
Gather friends around you don’t spend the night alone

Perched on your shoulder yearning toward the flame
Pour them a glass of whiskey and greet them all by name
 
Sweep out the courtyard to greet the coming year
Lay a handsome table, your visitors are here

Build up the bonfires now the seasons turn
Welcome in another year and let the old one burn

(with thanks to Zoe Mulford)

Choosing

Choosing the high road. I know it's right. I know it brings good karma. I know it's better for my overall health and well-being. 

But sometimes it's hard and often it just sucks.

Mindfulness. 

The gift that keeps on giving and the only way to  keep the negative thoughts from intruding and taking over the script. 

Thankful

What a difference a year makes. This time last year I was looking retirement square in the face and scared to death. Today it's a reality.

I am so grateful for the many people who made it possible. Most importantly my dad who encouraged me to save and my sweet husband who continues to toil away endlessly at the bit mines. I can't wait 'til it's his turn. 

It's been an amazing year. Our health is good. The girls are happy and our families near and far are well. I'm living in my dreams. Working from home, one business up and running, the other just beginning to take off. 

I've learned to acknowledge and embrace my inner entrepeneur, to believe in my good business sense and trust my instincts. I started saying WHEN instead of IF. 

Grateful? You bet. I feel like I've won the lottery. Happy Thanksgiving. Today and every day.

White

Thanksgiving snow. 

 It is a day for napping.

Fancy Feast

Apple Cider Caramels, Pumpkin Spice Bars and Cranberry Sauce.

Oh, and lots of snuggling. Lots and lots.

This is the Day

This is the day.

The day to unpack the car full of galvanized gold, rinse it clean and store it for summer. The day to finally excavate the last of the inventory from the house and stow it away. Today is day to shop for Thanksgiving and start baking. It's the day to get the guest room ready, unearth the linen napkins and start ironing. Today's the day to find the extra leaves to the dining table, to stack more wood on the hearth and the day to move extra chairs into the family room.

 

This is the day.

Pile Up

It's Friday and man has it been a week for the record books! Just west of us by only a couple hours, our friends in Buffalo are digging out from underneath an epic storm that dumped as much as 84 inches of snow. I cannot begin to imagine what's that like.

 Here on the home front it's been frigid with very little snow, but cozy as can be. Plans for the weekend include auction tonight, auction tomorrow and possibly auction on Sunday. Yeah, I know, this plan begs one all important question. Where the heck are we gonna put all this stuff we're buying? I haven't a clue really, but I'm banking on stuff selling fast enough so it doesn't pile up high and deep like good old Buffalo, NY snow...

I love winter and especially the early days of winter. Yeah, I know I'll be singing a different tune come March, but for now it's time to hunker down, get to work and get cozy. Time to fill the cast iron pot with stew and cook it all day in the oven. Time to make the Thanksgiving menu. Time to take stock, be grateful and appreciate all we have.

Ready

Oh, be still my heart. We're looking square in the face at TWO days in a row with no scheduled appointments AND just in time for the first winter storm of the season!

Wood's all stacked and ready nearby, pork roast is in the crock pot and James is curled up on my lap. I've got a date with a stack of books and magazines that have been patiently waiting for me for months now. I am so ready for this.

 

Such simple joy.

Enough Already

This morning the unmanned rocket ship Rosetta landed on a comet orbiting the sun. Its surface is reportedly all craggy, full of cliffs and not exactly what you'd call landing-friendly. I'd like to sit in awe of this event for a moment. Whoa. 

 My own victories are nothing in comparison to landing on a speeding comet, but I have managed to make changes in the last couple of years that have resulted in a deeper, more sustained sense of peace and happiness. Quitting a job I hated, cutting out sugar all together and turning off the cable are a few of things that made a difference.

So why do I find myself in the thick of a miserable patch right now? It's easy to chalk it up to hormones but I know that's not it.

It's time to quit complaining. 
I don't deal with stress by shopping or binge drinking. Instead I go on a complaint bender, and lately it's gotten the better of me. Venting only feels good for a minute or two. I think it's time to decide it's just not worth it anymore. 

It's time to stop waiting for something to happen.
I'll be the first to admit that I have a tendency to make my own happiness contingent on some big life altering event  - when I've lost the weight, when we've built the barn, when K retires. Enough already.

It's time to quit giving in to negative thoughts,  jumping to conclusions and being a victim.
Oy veh. This is a biggy. I'll need more than luck to deal with this. Mindfulness practice is about the only thing that makes a dent in this toxic cycle.

It's time to get over caring what other folks think. I mean come on already...
Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind. ~ Dr. Seuss

 

It Doesn't Matter

Bad news is: 

You cannot make people like, love, understand, validate, accept or be nice to you. 

You can't control them either. 

Good news is: 

It doesn't matter.

Please PIck Me

I'm thinking about teams, teamwork and partnerships today and I'm reaching back to those dreaded days in gym class where we'd pick folks for teams. The desperate hope that I wouldn't be the last one chosen is still pretty vivid. What were those teachers thinking...


Sadly those same dynamics seem to play out in Adultland more than I like to admit. So this morning I'm taking the advice of Seth Godin and I'm allowing myself the ultimate privilege of picking myself for my very own team. Whoa, what a concept. So obvious and so true.

Middle Ground

Show up. Pay attention. Don't be attached to the outcome. 

Focus on the process rather than the goal.

WTF

It'll be all right. The four most important words a spouse can whisper in your hear, save for I love you. 

Today, on the day after the midterm elections, I'm doing my best to believe he's right.

Reprieve

Screeeeeeech! Slam on the brakes, crank up the turn signal. 

I'm making a u-turn in terms of today's to-do list. 

 Who knew it would be warm enough to paint on election day!

Open Door Policy

After ten years of living in our sweet little farmhouse, we finally discovered the perfect use for our living room. 

In all the years we've lived here the living room has been nothing more than a glorified hallway to the upstairs. 

Our house is a hybrid - 1865 in the front, 1970s in the back. When they added on two stories to the back of the house, they enlarged the kitchen and added a family room. Upstairs the two back bedrooms got full height ceilings and a second bathroom was put in. 


It's a roomy place but nowhere in the house can you take in the staggeringly beautiful view across the lake valley, EXCEPT if you're standing in the dining room or the living room. 

So, we moved our online business downstairs - packing table, photography set-up, inventory shelves. We know it seems an odd move and most of our friends think we're crazy. But I know but once curtains go up on the French doors and it's all hidden from the "public" part of the house, it'll be perfect. 

We've spent weeks trying to figure out how to make it work. It's called for major purging and a whole lot of schlepping, but miraculously it all fits now and the light there is glorious. I couldn't have a more perfect work space and I couldn't be happier.

Happiness often sneaks in through a door you didn't know you left open. 

John Barrymore

Fall Back

We're off to auction with a full belly and an extra hour sleep under our belts. 

On-site season is almost over, still we're considering hauling our chairs out to an old homestead to sit under a leaky old tent in search of treasure. Wish us luck. Here at our house setting the clocks back an hour is accompanied not only by checking the smoke detectors, but also by a grand search for hats, gloves and long underwear.

Happy November!

R.R.R.

It's Saturday. Here we go again. Time to excavate the house.

Recycle, reduce, remove. 

We ARE going to get the cars in the garage this year!

In Control

I'm not a quitter. Never have been. Never will be.  
BUT, sometimes I find it helpful to allow myself the luxury of entertaining the idea of quitting. 

So today I'm pondering what it would be like to move in yet another new direction and man oh man, is it ever liberating. It highlights the undeniable fact that we're in control of things and not owned the drama outside of us. There, I said it out loud. 
Sure feels good. Glad to be back to living life on my terms.

Refuge

It's been weeks, scratch that...months since K started telecommuting and working from home. So on days when he's absolutely got to be in the office and I'm also leaving for the day to be at FOUND I'm suddenly struck by how peaceful our life has become now that we don't do this driving-to-work thing every morning. 

The rot on our poor house is repaired and the workmen will finish installing the last of the clapboards this morning. I'll be glad to say goodbye to the construction noise and that 80's dance party/sing-a-long sound track that goes with it. They guys have been great but I'm ready to have my quiet refuge of a house back. 

Daddy's Girl

It's my dad's birthday and if he were alive today he be turning 89. A year ago I honored his memory by giving official notice of my retirement on this day. It was his sage advice some thirty years ago that made early retirement a reality for me.

Yesterday, I signed the papers to roll over my entire life's savings into an IRA. GULP. 

It felt like a big old grown up thing to do, which is odd considering at at 57 years of age, I'm well, you know, pretty much grown up by now. But when it comes to dealing with money and finances, I'm still the same kid who shuts down at the mere hint of anything that even remotely smells like math. I've dealt with money by pouring as much of it into savings, staying out of debt and trying not to live above my means. 

Simple, clean, tidy. Guess I learned that from my dad too.  

Proud to be a daddy's girl after all these years.

True Colors

The fall has been beautiful,

luxuriously long,

and colorful.

I've been experiencing a little writer's block lately. Lots of ideas, but no words. Lots of bottled up thoughts but no way to express them. Thank heavens for Fall. The color speaks for itself.

Great idea!

It's Sunday, funday, excavate the house day!

 Wait, whose idea was this anyway???

Craftastic

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas...

And just in time. Christmas Eve is two months from today.

 How'd that happen?

Twice Baked

Dark, dreary, windy and cold. And it's been this way since Sunday. When the going gets tough, this gal heads straight into the kitchen to whip up some good old fashioned comfort food. 

Wait. We don't eat pasta anymore. No potatoes either. Rice? Nope. It sucks, I'll be the first to admit it, but discovering the joy of cauliflower and decking it out like it was your favorite starch does the trick every time. 

Deb's Twice Baked Mashed Cauliflower
One big head of cauliflower
Cream (as in heavy cream)
Butter (as in the real deal, please don't use that horrid fake margarine crap)
Bacon (as in organic if possible and from the Piggery if you live around here. It is the BEST bacon you've ever eaten in your entire life. Would I lie to you?)
Grated Pepper Jack, sharp cheddar and provolone cheese (and a lot of it - at least a cup)
Five or six green onions chopped fine 

Ok, this dish is not lo-cal, so just get over that right now. Most importantly it is low-carb and that's what matters the most.

Preheat the oven to 350, grease a baking dish and get going!

• Boil the cauliflower florets 'in a big pot of salted water til tender.
• Chop the bacon into small pieces and fry it up. Try not to eat it all as it's cooking.
• Do not throw the fat away. Well, if you must okay, but try to at least save a little bit for later. 
• Drain the cauliflower. Scoop into a food processor in small batches. A little cauliflower, a little cream, a knob of butter. Whiz away!
• Dump it into a big bowl and add in the bacon, cheese and green onions, along with with lots and lot of freshly ground black pepper. This is comfort food after all. Give the chipotle powder bottle a few good shakes and if you're feeling adventuresome, shake some smoked paprika right on in there too. Stir 'til combined and bake about 40 minutes. 

 

I double dare you not to sit down and eat it straight out of the pan while it's hot. Good luck with that. I would post a photo of it here in all its glory, but we've already dived into it...

Post-FLEA

 
It's Post-FLEA week here and all's well. 

We're a little tired, a little sore and a lot happy about how the day went inside and out. 

The rain held off, the wind blew and it was way too cold to spend the day outside, but what the hell - everyone and their dog and their cousin's dog came out for the last FLEA of the season! 

Goodbye 4 am wakeup call.

Goodbye u-Haul.

Goodbye pop-up canopy. 

See you in May. 

Signs

These photos are from only five or six days ago.

 The leaves are almost gone now. 

The woods are filled with the sounds of wild turkeys. Today we spotted a dozen or more hawks floating on the thermals. The chipmunks and squirrels are busier than ever and Pippa's coat is as thick as we've ever seen it. 
Winter is on the way. We all feel it today.

 It's transition time. Fasten your seat belt.

Magical Thinking

Today is prep day for the final FOUND FLEA of the season which takes place on Sunday. I'm a little short on patience and a lot short on sleep, but I am filled with hope that everything will magically sell, the sun will come out and the temperature will reach 50 degrees.

Cue anxiety dreams!

This morning I dreamed that someone broke into FOUND and instead of stealing stuff, they called me to complain about the stupid alarm beeping.

Yesterday while working in the shop, I had to tell one of the dealer workers at FOUND to stop whistling or I would have to kill him. He looked at me like I'd lost it. I guess I had for a minute there.

Trick or Treat

A line of heavy storms has moved into our little slice of heaven today and will likely take the leaves with it...or most of them. 
It is a day for indoor work. 

Trick or Treat.  

This is a tricky transition. I'm anxious and restless. Itchy to get it over with perhaps. 

Trick or Treat. 

The colors have been amazing this year, but it's time for winter to move on in. It means we're that much closer to spring.

 Trick or Treat. Either way, it appears winter is gaining on us.

Tipping Point

Have you reached the tipping point when it comes to clutter? 

I just did. 

After taking a nasty fall amidst the piles of furniture, tools, recycle bins, and other accumulating detritus, I finally said enough is enough and sent K down to the curb with trash tags and a pile. Trash pick up is this morning. Good riddance I say!

Clutter is debilitating. It makes me crazy, anxious and almost unable to work. How many hours have been spent moving, shuffling and organizing the piles? I don't think I want to know. So starting now, I've enlisted the help of a dear friend who also wishes to banish the clutter. We have agreed to purge something every day and be accountable to one another. Anyone else want to join the fun?