Getting Real

Some habits die hard and so for me is the habit of creating a to-do list that is way longer than any human being can accomplish in a week, let alone 24 hours. 

As I was madly running around yesterday, feeling the insane pressure of an over-scheduled day, it suddenly occurred to me that I had a choice. That no dean, committee or needy student was nipping at my heels to get things done, there was no time clock running and the semester was not about to end. Yet, that's exactly how I was operating. I'd put it on the list and dammit, I was going to do it. How utterly ridiculous. 

So I ditched the last activity on the list, stayed home and dealt with the stuff that had piled up and was making me crazy, and cleared the clutter. House cleared. Mind cleared. Stress gone. 

I aim to stop the glorification of busy. I really do. But this old habit is a deeply entrenched one and if I'm honest, it's rooted deeply in control. If I don't do it know one will. If I don't do it, it won't get done right. IF. IF. IF. There's that damn IF word again. 

As my friend Carrie once said, the "the to-do list is a trick of the ego designed to give me a set of problems that seem like only I can solve".  

So I'm ditching the old list in favor of the real one and making room. Not just for the good things, but for the GREAT ones.