School started without me this year and I'm okay with that. I expected to feel my heart strings pulled a little, expected to miss my students more and thought I'd feel the need to use my brain in that teacher sort of way. But nope. Didn't happen, not at least like I thought it would.
The next time a teacher complains to you that they're burnt out, listen and pay attention to them. This burn out stuff is real. Had I known what was happening to me I might've figured out a way to reverse it. A toxic environment of any kind is no fun. Whether it stems from office politics, faculty drama, overwork and under-appreciation, it's effects can be long lasting and life-altering.
Though it's only been a short time, the thick and impermeable psychic armor I donned to make it in academia has started falling away in big chunks. I feel much more like my authentic self every day.
I'm not just going to be okay. I'm going to be better than before.
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